We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
