I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i just made my gag reflex go away.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
