"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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