listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Randomize
