She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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