I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
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