I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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