no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
