her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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