If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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