Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
