The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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