96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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