And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
