You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
