She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
