if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
