But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
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