I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
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Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
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Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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