**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I need to stop coming to work sober
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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