I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
