i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize