he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
