Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
how drunk are you?
Several
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
