Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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