I think I died a long time ago.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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