You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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