No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
