quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize