is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize