Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize