that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
