im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize