i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
