butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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