a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
