Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
