I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
