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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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