he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
So vagazzling was a success
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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