just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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