I feel like abortions should bother me more
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
