I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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