After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
