Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
