Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
