Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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