i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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