Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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