It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
