can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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