Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
