i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
