Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
