i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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