He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
