Christians are straight up FREAKS
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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