I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize