Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Randomize
