Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Randomize
