How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
