how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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