I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
