a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
