You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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