her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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