Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
i now understand why vodka
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
