I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
