Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
you inspire me to be a worse person
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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