and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
