I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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