Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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