just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
