Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
